TOWN HALLS REVEAL COUNTRY HAVING HISSY FIT

COUNTRY HAS TANTRUM. ENTIRE NATION TO BE PUT ON A "TIME OUT", SENT TO THEIR ROOM.

WILLFUL IGNORANCE DISORDER TO BE COVERED UNDER NEW HEALTHCARE.

Recognizing the emerging malady, an amendment has been added to the Healthcare bill to include coverage of this disorder. Pre-existing conditions are covered.

RETIREES NOT SURE ABOUT TOWN HALL ATTENDANCE

Many conflicted; go and complain about the "public option", or stay home and see if their Medicare card comes today.