BP SAID LEAK COULD NEVER HAPPEN

IN OTHER NEWS, THEY JUST FOUND OUT THE THE TITANIC DID SINK.

ARIZONA TO STEPHEN HAWKING:

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SAYIN'.

DEEPWATER HORIZON OIL SPILL CAUSE FOUND!

SHUT-OFF LEVER FAILS. CHINESE VALVE FACTORY NEXT DOOR TO MILK and DOG FOOD FACTORIES, MELAMINE WAREHOUSES.