HEY BP! PUT A SOCK ON IT!

A tube sock, that is. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37125240/ns/us_news-gulf_oil_spill/

ASTRONOMERS: "BLACK HOLE HURLED OUT OF GALAXY". BP TO FOLLOW SUIT.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science_and_environment/10108226.stm

THE FINAL INSULT TO NEW YORKERS;

HOW DID THIS GUY FIND A PARKING SPOT!??!? (props to N.Y. for all they live with)

PALIN SAYS "DRILL BABY DRILL" MISUNDERSTOOD

CLAIMS SHE WAS JUST PROMOTING DENTAL HEALTH.

BP SAID LEAK COULD NEVER HAPPEN

IN OTHER NEWS, THEY JUST FOUND OUT THE THE TITANIC DID SINK.

ARIZONA TO STEPHEN HAWKING:

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SAYIN'.

DEEPWATER HORIZON OIL SPILL CAUSE FOUND!

SHUT-OFF LEVER FAILS. CHINESE VALVE FACTORY NEXT DOOR TO MILK and DOG FOOD FACTORIES, MELAMINE WAREHOUSES.